Anxiety in Motherhood · Top Ten

Top Ten Motherly Pet Peeves

We all have pet peeves. Except Whoopi. She’s got whole kennels full. Lately I’m discovering I have a lot more than I thought, and surprisingly, they’re all related to other people and not my actual child.

My child is still a baby, and I frequently remind myself that he cannot actually control his actions, despite his personality shining through to everything he does. He still doesn’t know any better, and I think having pet peeves about the things he does are weird.

With that introduction, I present for you, my top ten pet peeves as a parent.

  1. When other people can’t stop their children from touching mine. 
    Yes, I realize it’s hard to control a passel of children, but please have enough of an eye on them to stop them from poking my infant in the face or putting their hands in his mouth. And if you don’t, at least have the grace to respect that I will stop your kids from doing so – in a polite and non-violent way – because that’s my child your kiddo can’t keep his or her hands off of.
  2. When strangers touch my child without asking.
    No, it isn’t okay for you to touch my child, but that doesn’t matter now, does it? You’ve already gone and done it before the question finished exiting your damn mouth.
  3. When people tell me I should do x, y, or z to fix my child’s current fussing. 
    I’m very glad that ‘x’ solution worked for you. It doesn’t work for me, and no, it’s not because I’m not trying hard enough.
  4. When the hourly daycare tells me my child has to eat on their schedule.
    I know everything is very strictly regulated, but my little guy is 6 months old. And if I take him to daycare and say I don’t have a bottle for him because I know his schedule better than you do, and he’ll only be here for an hour, and I just fed him before we got here, then please don’t try to shame me for it.
  5. Unsolicited parenting advice.
    I’m sorry, but I don’t recall asking for your opinion – that’s a phrase that sits on the tip of my tongue all too often these days. At the end of my blog, I almost always ask for tips, tricks, or solutions other parents have used. I welcome them, and learn from them. I ask for advice from my family when I need it, as well. But I am so sick of fielding unwanted parenting advice from well-meaning family members, friends, co-workers, or random strangers on my flight or in the store, or at the coffee shop. Please just stop. Thanks.
  6. Mentioned in a previous post, people insinuating that my husband is the saintly good parent, and I’m just some twit filling the mommy space for now.
    I’m sorry that I’m not perfect, but neither is my husband. Setting a negative example for my child is a sure-fire way to be removed from his life. Permanently. That includes talking negatively to or around my son about me OR my husband. It’s unacceptable – we are his parents, and he shouldn’t be hearing that kind of stuff as he grows up, especially from family or family friends.
  7. People complaining about my child on an airplane. Before he even cries.
    I’m sorry, what has my sleeping child done to you that warrants a complaint? Nothing. Maybe worry about yourself and stop complaining about kids on flights so much. I don’t know a single soul who wants to sit on a flight and listen to someone complain the whole way to their destination. Perhaps you need to reevaluate what your definition of “annoying” is – or maybe you need therapy if the sight of a sleeping child is enough to send you into a rage that has you complaining about parents who can’t control their kids.
  8. People complaining about my child on the airplane when he cries for ten minutes, then stops and is fine the rest of my flight.
    I’m sorry that we were stuck on the tarmac, it was hot, and they didn’t turn the A/C on. We were all restless and cranky. Why would a baby be any different? If he cried for a long period of time (believe me, to me it felt like forever), I would understand the complaint. But he fussed a bit for ten minutes, then immediately settled when the air kicked on. Like the rest of the people on the plane. Why are you so special?
  9. People comparing my child to theirs.
    All of childhood is a learning curve for each parent, and each and every child is unique. Please stop comparing your child to mine – whether it’s to tell me yours is way more advanced, or to lament that yours is behind. Developmental guidelines are just that – guidelines. Don’t make child-rearing into a competition.
  10. Last, but not least, people questioning my parenting decisions. 
    If I say something, that’s it. It goes. It isn’t up for discussion – my husband and I have already talked those things over. And as we are the only two people who matter in that discussion, no, I won’t take what you said under advisement. And no, I won’t continue to let you be a part of my child’s life if you consistently oppose me, especially in front of my child.

I could probably go on, but I think ten is enough. What about you? What are your pet peeves? Share in the comments, or hell, write up your own list and tag me. I’d love to read it! I could be violating someone else’s pet peeves and not know myself.

– Monster Mama

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