Anxiety in Motherhood · Social Media

To Show, or Not To Show?

 

Why you don’t see pictures of my son on my public social media accounts:

  • I’m paranoid with severe anxiety
    • This means I frequently worry about someone possibly abducting my child by tracking the geotag on photos that I take.
    • It means I’m paranoid that someone could target him to hurt my husband or me.
    • The very definition of “public” is that anyone with an internet connection can see it – which means I no longer have control of who has my son’s picture and what they do with it. Which causes severe anxiety trouble to me.
  • I believe in limited social media exposure
    • There are days I’d love nothing more than to share my son’s gorgeous smile with the world – and I open my feed and see that this is exactly what all of my friends have done. My feed is so flooded with other people’s kids, why would I want to continue saturating it with my son’s photo?
    • Some people share too many photos of their children. I do not want to share so many pictures of my son that people scroll past because “Oh, it’s another picture of her kid again.”
    • Someday, when my son is older, he will likely have a social media account. Guess what he’s not going to want to see? His baby pictures plastered all over my account.
  • I’m selfish
    • The moment I start sharing my son’s picture without hesitation, whenever I have a “cute” moment or just an everyday moment that I’m too proud to keep to myself, everyone else in my family will also want to share that moment. My family is proud of my son, he’s the first born in my generation of our family. It’s normal. However, It reroutes here: I’m not friends with everyone on social media that my family is, and that takes the controlled audience out of my control. See: paranoid.
    • I don’t want random people from high school or I’ve met in life from my adventures judging me for how I parent, or for how my child looks in one small glimpse of our day to day life. I know I shouldn’t care, but I do. Not just for me, but because someday my son will hear people judging him or me, or both. If I don’t post, it limits the amount of judgment I expose myself to in the beginning.
    • I know seeing other people’s kids can spark some kind of latent competitiveness in other mamas – it happens to me, sometimes, and I remind myself that child rearing is in no way a competition and that these thoughts are unhealthy for me and my child. But other mamas tend to post comments like “my child did x, y, or z in this time frame” or “just wait until…” and I don’t want to hear it. I’m enjoying our time, and our present day activities. I don’t want to live in the future, or the past.

So even though Monster Mama has a weblog, an instagram, a facebook and a twitter, you will likely not find pictures of my son there. All those accounts are public, and sharing his picture publicly gives me the heebie-jeebies. If we are friends, you can contact me about my private social media accounts, and I will gladly consider adding you to those, where you can see (the rare post) photos and updates of my son.

– Monster Mama

6 thoughts on “To Show, or Not To Show?

  1. I normally don’t put my kids pictures on my site unless their face is blocked or blurred in the picture. Like you, at first I was not sure about those privacy issues that you documented. My thing is that I feel that their image is theirs and they should choose how to display it online.

    My daughter is 13 and has a snapchat account and she doesn’t do much posting on it. My son is 9 has has nothing online. He just watches youtube videos. But as they age, they will have to choose how to project who they are and how they see themselves. Not how their old dinosaur Dad sees them.

    By the way, this is my only online presence. I don’t do Facebook or twiter or anything else.For now anyway, until I need to promote by books.

    Enjoy that you are sharing your feelings. Glad to know I am not the only cautious person in the world.

    rob

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think people forget that once you put something on social media, it becomes part of public domain, more or less. I rarely share photos of myself or family for that reason. When I do post them I always have to stop and think “is this something I don’t mind hovering online forever?”

    I guess I’m just too private, LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think you’re right – a lot of people forget that once those pictures are up, even if you remove them, they’re still out there somewhere, on a server. They’re not really gone. I often wonder why people share so many photos.

      I’m fairly private now that it comes to my son, although I’ve always shared photos of myself and my husband. It didn’t bother me much before, so long as my husband was on board, but I feel the need to protect my son and his privacy. There’s nothing wrong with being too private! I’m with you there! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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