Typically I only write about mommy stuff, and I feel this is loosely enough related to include in my blog, so here goes.
An Open Letter To My Husband:
You are not like most men. You rarely get sick, and when you do, you’re not a gigantic baby. You power through, and do what you need to anyway, and even still do things for me. I’m the giant baby when I get sick.
Yesterday, we were both sick together, which has never happened. In fact, neither of us have been truly sick in quite a while. Of course, the first time we both got sick simultaneously would be when we have an infant to care for. Having not been sick since before I got pregnant with our son, and being sore from working out again for the first time, this stomach bug really hit me hard.
I suspected food poisoning (I’ll spare you the gory details, but there were signs) until you woke up feeling the same way. Since we hadn’t eaten the same things, I knew it had to be a GI bug. I buckled in for a long day, but I could barely move. I was so depleted and sore from being sick and the added soreness from working out that even walking or standing was hard.
I hadn’t felt this way in a long time, and I could tell you felt the same. You were also in pretty rotten shape, even though you still looked like the visage of a Greek God to me. Even when you’re sick, you never really look terrible. Not me. I looked like death and hot garbage had a love child in a reanimated corpse.
I just wanted to say a huge, heartfelt thank you. I couldn’t be luckier to call you my husband, friend, partner-in-crime and father to my child.
Thank you for picking up the slack when I was too sick to hold our son for more than a few minutes at a time. Thank you for driving to the store for ginger ale, pedialyte and chicken noodle soup so I didn’t have to go myself. Thank you for carrying our child down the stairs because I was shaking so badly I feared I’d drop him. Thank you for staying awake to watch him so I could nap, even though you were sick, too. Just thank you for being there. For making my life easier. For loving me. For loving our son. For everything.
I know I can be hard on you at times, and for that I’m sorry. Being married to someone with severe anxiety and depression is not easy, even though you make it seem like a cake walk. I just want you to know that I notice. I notice how you put me before yourself, and you take care of me and our son. I notice how hard you try, and I notice how much you care.
You worry that your job is going to make you into an absentee parent, but days like yesterday are the prime example of how that could never happen. Your son will grow up knowing that he always comes first, and that you’re always there for him. He will grow up with a fantastic example of what it means to take care of a family, and a wonderful example of what it means to be a husband and a father.
Marriage is 100-100. Yesterday, I’d say I maybe gave it about 20, and you made that okay. You gave me 180. 180 that you didn’t have, but that you gave anyway. Today, I am feeling 100% better, and I know that you’re not because yesterday you took care of me. Of us. Hopefully, today I can give you 180, and you can relax and let me take care of you. Not because you ‘earned it’, but because you deserve it.
Thank you to the man who makes it okay for me to be me, without ever feeling the need to apologize. I appreciate you more than words could ever express, and I love you.
– Monster Mama